I regret those days/Mahnaz Badihian

I regret those days

 

Those many long days I worked hard

Holding the IV basket

Filled with butterfly needles, tourniquets, alcohol pads

Walking from OR unit to internal medicine

And from GY oncology to surgical floor hours past midnight

In the heart of city of Baltimore

Thinking of my babies sleeping next to my husband in bed

 

Regret those early mornings, late nights

Pressing my eyes on those books

Memorizing the anatomy of canine and molars

And the position of tori in the roof of my mouth

Searching for the meaning of Melancholy,

Meaning of life between pages, time to time

 

I regret working Saturday through Friday

Long days, and not for a moment

Listening to the voice of a women in me

To my womb, to my tired, swollen legs

 

I regret not being a woman, Instead I kept being

A mother, a wife, a daughter and a selfless being

There was a time with height of

My dreams and desires, I ignored

 

Finally I only can be a woman

I listen to my tender skin, to the novel in my heart

And a poem in my eyes

To my tired legs and thinning hair

 

Now I am a woman I never was

Maybe I can catch up with what ever

Left from the woman

I ignored and silenced for so long

….

Mahnaz badihian