I regret those days
Those many long days I worked hard
Holding the IV basket
Filled with butterfly needles, tourniquets, alcohol pads
Walking from OR unit to internal medicine
And from GY oncology to surgical floor hours past midnight
In the heart of city of Baltimore
Thinking of my babies sleeping next to my husband in bed
Regret those early mornings, late nights
Pressing my eyes on those books
Memorizing the anatomy of canine and molars
And the position of tori in the roof of my mouth
Searching for the meaning of Melancholy,
Meaning of life between pages, time to time
I regret working Saturday through Friday
Long days, and not for a moment
Listening to the voice of a women in me
To my womb, to my tired, swollen legs
I regret not being a woman, Instead I kept being
A mother, a wife, a daughter and a selfless being
There was a time with height of
My dreams and desires, I ignored
Finally I only can be a woman
I listen to my tender skin, to the novel in my heart
And a poem in my eyes
To my tired legs and thinning hair
Now I am a woman I never was
Maybe I can catch up with what ever
Left from the woman
I ignored and silenced for so long
….
Mahnaz badihian